mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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