i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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