mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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