He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
