i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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