even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
