hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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