We're like a lot better than the average bears
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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