Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
