Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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