peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
