Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
