I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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