When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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