so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
