I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
