hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
