Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize