I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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