im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
