he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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