I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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