I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
