i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
