Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
