Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
