where does the pee come out of this thing
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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