alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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