What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
