Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So squirting runs in the family.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
