She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Randomize
