I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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