I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize