I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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