i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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