can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
