Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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