she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
