I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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