drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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