Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
