Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
