You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
pray to the hookup gods
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
