haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
