yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?