if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?