You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I need moral support for this bender
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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