I accidentally had phone sex last night
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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