I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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