a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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