i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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