He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
