from now on my penis is your penis
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
