He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
