I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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