please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
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I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
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does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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