My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
