thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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